Invader Zim: The Great Graboid Adventure
by Dr-Lovekill
Summary: Invader Zim/Tremors crossover! While Dib travels to Perfection to study graboids, Zim wants to capture El Blanco to use as a weapon. Dib and Burt soon team up to stop Zim and Melvin from destroying Perfection Valley...and the world.
1. Chapter 1

The television set filled the room with a pale blue light as Dib Membrane sat on the living room sofa. He looked at his watch, the green digital readout informing the young paranormal investigator that it was 8:59pm. He looked back to the TV.

"Come on, I've waited two days to watch this show." He said impatiently, clutching his notebook.

"Why don't you just watch the reruns like a _normal _human?" Dib's younger sister Gaz said meanly as she walked past with a soda.

"You just don't get it, Gaz." Dib said. "This is the premiere of 'Quest for Cryptids', and they're gonna be talking about the graboids that were discovered in Nevada. They _say_ that they're prehistoric animals, but I think they're some sort of extraterrestrial…worm…thing that…" He trailed off as he noticed Gaz was no longer in the same room. He looked back to the television as the show came on.

"Tonight, our quest for strange and unusual animals takes us to the American southwest, to the small town of Perfection, Nevada where a large underground animal has the residents and science all shaken up." The camera showed video of a small cluster of houses built along a single road. A red general store seemed to be the only business in the tiny settlement. Dib wondered who would live in such a dilapidated old shantytown. He wrote some items of interest down in his small notepad.

"Here is a local expert on the creatures, noted graboid hunter Burt Gummer. Dib looked back up to the TV to see a middle aged man with a police-like moustache, wearing a white Atlanta Hawks baseball cap and aviator glasses. The caption at the bottom of the screen read: Burt Gummer, Monster Hunter. Dib wrote down this name, thinking that he may later contact Gummer with questions about the so-called Precambrian monsters.

"The graboid, being a subterranean brute, is completely without vision." Gummer said militantly. "It hunts strictly by sound, which it senses through any medium, dirt, rock, even capable of detecting potential prey on the roof of a building through the infinitesimal vibrations carrying through the structure."

"Hmm…" Dib said to himself. "How could an earth animal so big be blind…it MUST be from outer space."

"The sightless beast, by means of large spikes on its body can achieve underground speeds of 30 miles per hour in loose sandy soil, making it a very dangerous animal."

"I understand the creature living here now is sterile, and so cannot metamorphose into the second stage of it's life cycle. Is this correct?"

"You understand correctly." Gummer replied, seeming a little annoyed. "The graboid has three stages of life, being a hermaphroditic animal, it requires no mating to do so. However, the protected animal we have here in Perfection Valley in unable to transform, and will probably remain a graboid until it dies naturally."

"Whoa!" Dib exclaimed. "I gotta see it!" He jumped from the sofa. "Dad!" He called.

"Yes son?" A voice replied from downstairs.

"Can I take a bus to Nevada?" Dib asked, as if he'd asked if he could order a pizza.

"Just don't be too long." Professor Membrane's voice stated. "You have school in a week.

In all actuality, Dib wasn't the only person in town thinking about visiting the state of casinos, silver mines and giant underground carnivores. Inside his not-so-cleverly disguised base, Zim was watching the show as well. His red Irken eyes grew wide with wonder as his large television showed an image of the 30 foot graboid.

"The graboid takes its food whole," The host said as video images of the giant worm played. "taking prey as large as donkeys and humans into its mouth with three long and powerful tentacles. Food is digested slowly in…"

"I WANT ONE!" Zim exclaimed, leaping onto his couch and pointing at the screen. "With a creature such as this, I could destroy the humans! I…MUST…HAVE ONE!"

"Currently, the Perfection graboid, known as 'El Blanco' is the only known living graboid in the western hemisphere." The host said, showing a map of the world with red dots on it.

"Then I'll take THAT ONE." Zim growled. "GIR!" Zim's SIR unit looked up from the floor where he was sucking mustard from the bottle.

"Yeeeeeeees?" GIR replied, dripping mustard from his mouth. Zim shuddered in disgust.

"Come, GIR…" He said diabolically. "We're going to _capture _that worm."

_As usual, my first chapter is incredibly too short. Oh well, the next ones will be much more longer and better. Well, how are you enjoying it so far? Think it's worth finishing? Hello? *Crickets chirp* Stay tuned for the next chapter, Dr. Lovekill-ites. Till then, cheerio._


	2. Chapter 2: Perfection

_Following my tradition of writing second chapters with naught but a ton of dialogue and character development, here's the second chapter, full of dialogue and character development. Hope you enjoy. Enough jabber-jawing, on with the story! I don't own Invader Zim or Tremors, or else I'd be living in Burt's bunker with Tak. _

Dib stepped out of the beat up yellow taxi that he had to ride the entire 38 miles from Bixby, the nearest town. Dib stepped out of the relative comfort of the cab into the hot, searing sun. 38 miles from anything resembling humanity, hot sun, blowing dust…Dib was sure he hated Perfecting just going by the three seconds he was there. He sighed, and grabbed his large bag from the backseat. Tossing the driver some money, he closed the door. The taxi drove off, kicking up a cloud of dust. Dib looked around the town…if that's what you could call it. Several mobile homes, a couple run down houses, a large metal Quonset hut, and an old-west-style red general store was the only sign of habitation.

"Welcome to Perfection, son." A voice with a slight western drawl said. Dib turned to see a man in a ball cap, tee shirt and jeans walking from the metal building.

"Oh, uh…thanks." Dib replied.

"Tyler Reed." The man said, holding out a hand. Dib shook his hand.

"Dib Membrane." He said "I'm here to see the graboid."

"Well a' course." Tyler said with a smile. "Why else would ya come to Perfection? I run the graboid tour here." He looked around. "Um…you here with someone?"

"Um…no." Dib said matter-of-factly. He raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

"No reason, other than the fact that…well, you're kinda young to be comin' out here by yourself. This ain't exactly some theme park, ya know?"

"Well, I'm not some little kid." Dib said, feeling a little insulted. "You see, I'm a paranormal investigator, here to do a serious investigation on graboids."

"Um..Okay, I guess." Tyler said. "As long as your parents know you're here, and you do what we say, alright?"

"Deal." Dib replied, just eager to begin his investigation into the 30 foot space worms. "So, Mr. Reed, you said you run the tour, right?" Dib asked as they walked toward the red store.

"Yup." The man replied. "And you can call me Tyler, son."

"So…Tyler," Dib asked, raising a pen and small notebook. "You've seen the graboid a few times then?" Tyler smiled.

"I guess you can say that." Tyler replied as they stepped upon the wooden walkway in front of the store. "I've seen that big ol' worm more than I'd like sometimes."

"How do you mean?" Dib asked. They stepped into the store. Dib looked around. The small store was stuffed with a capricious amount of graboid-related merchandise. Blow-up monsters, figurines, comic books, documentaries and tee shirts depicting graboids in all three states of metamorphose filled the walls and display counters. Dib imagined Perfection as another has-been paranormal town like Roswell or Salem; a town that had seen its share of mysterious phenomena in the past, and was now trying to squeeze every penny from adventure seekers as it could.

"Hey Jodi!" Tyler called. An Asian woman rose up from behind a display.

"Hey Tyler." The woman said with a smile. She looked at Dib. "Who's this?"

"Oh, this is Dib. He's here to do a report or somethin' on our _supernatural _monster."

"Um, it's not supernatural." Dib stated, not to be mistaken for some dumb kid. "That would mean the graboid is in the realm of the paranormal."

"Huh?" Tyler asked.

"See," Dib continued. "Graboids aren't really paranormal or supernatural because their existence is proven by science. I'm just investigating to prove whether or not the explanation about their origin is true."

"Okay…" Tyler said. "Where do _you _think they came from?"

"Well, I believe they may be extraterrestrial." Dib answered.

"Uhhh…" Tyler smiled. "Aliens?"

"Well actually, Tyler…" Jodi chimed in. "For a while after their discovery, that was a theory a lot of people had, including Earl Basset. It was Earl and Kate Reilly that proved they were Precambrian animals." Dib was jotting all of this down in his notepad.

"Any chance I can take the tour?" Dib asked. "I have money." He pulled out a fold of several twenties from his trench coat pocket. Tyler looked at Jodi and shrugged.

"Sure." He said. "I have an opening in my next tour. "It's gonna be about 4 hours if you're interested."

"Yeah, sure, okay." Dib said happily. He looked around. "But, uh…what can I do around here till then?"

"Well," Jodi replied, "You can see the town and…" Suddenly, a buzzing emanated from Tyler and Jodi's watches. "Be quiet, don't move!" She whispered loudly. A sudden rumbling filled the air, and the small store began to shake as if there was an earthquake. Dib looked around for a source of the shaking as it grew more violent. A high pitched, trumpeting roar sounded, and the shaking began to subside, until it finally stopped. Jodi continued as if nothing had happened. "…have a look around for yourself, maybe talk to some of the locals, you know?"

"Wait, wait, wait…" Dib interrupted. "What was that?"

"That was just El Blanco." Jodi said. Dib looked at Tyler.

"I was pretty confused myself at first." Tyler grinned. "You get used to it." Jodi handed Dib a watch looking device.

"You'll need one of these." She said. "It's a wrist seismo. If it goes off, stop what you're doing and freeze. It means El Blanco is near." Dib latched it on his wrist.

"Thanks." He said.

"Um…"Jodi continued. "That'll be a fifteen dollar rental charge." Dib raised an eyebrow, and handed fifteen bucks to the merchant. "And if you get a little warm in that coat, we have a selection of outdoor clothes."

"Okay." Dib replied. "I think I'll go have a look around now. I have important work to…" He was interrupted by the door flying open. A very angry-looking bald, heavyset man in a suit stomped in.

"Sometimes I wish that damned worm would turn belly-up so I could get reassigned somewhere where it's NOT 120 in the freakin' shade!" The stranger exclaimed.

"Hey Twitch." Tyler said, unfazed by the man's outburst.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, where the Hell's Gummer?" The man asked angrily.

"He's out checking on his gear or doin' recon or something." Tyler answered. "He'll be back in a bit." The man shook his head and looked around, noticing Dib for the first time.

"Who's the kid?" He asked.

"Oh," Tyler replied. "This is Dib…um."

"Membrane." Dib finished, holding out a hand in greeting. "And you're…"

"Uh huh." The man said. He took a black ID holder from his pocket and flashed a badge.

"W.D. Twitchell, Department of the Interior." He said curtly. "And why don't I see any parents? This isn't Disneyland or something." 

"We know, Twitchell." Tyler said. "He's here with permission from his parents, and we're watching him."

"Make sure you do, Reed." Twitchell remarked.

"He's just here to do a report on El Blanco." Jodi said.

"Speaking of which," Dib said. "Umm…who should I talk to first?"

"Well Nancy lives just across the road, Dib." Jodi replied. "She's been in Perfection since the first graboid incident."

"Cool." Dib stated. He wrote a few things down in his notebook. He looked around at what he felt to be a fairly awkward situation involving a government agent, and decided it was time to go. "See ya." He said, and walked out.

_Whew. It's taken me long enough to write this chapter, eh? Between being sick, working a craft booth at a local fair, taking care of my poultry farm, and a period of writer's block from hell, I thought I'd never get it finished. At least it's finally done. So, since it's taken me so bloody long to write, at least tell me what you think, eh? I'll try to get another chapter up soon. Winter is on the way, so there's not much to do around the ranch but annihilate cans with my collection of Cold War weapons, so I'll probably be writing more. So until next time, what loyal readers I have left, cheerio. _


	3. Chapter 3: The Alllegiance

_It appears that at least for the time being, I've managed to get over my writer's block and write two whole chapters in a week. So sit back and enjoy chapter 3. _

_Dr. Lovekill's attorney: The author of present work of fiction does not own either intellectual properties or any characters depicted within, nor profits from the writing of this composition in any way. Tremors is a franchise owned by Stampede entertainment, and Invader Zim is copyright of Nickelodeon. This story and all characters are works of fiction. Any similarities…_

_Dr. Lovekill: That's enough, barrister. Now get back in the broom closet until I need you to sue someone. Okay readers, here's the long anticipated chapter you've all been waiting with baited breath for. I'll shut up now. Enjoy._

The dry, dusty Nevada air was split by a whirring sound as a purple and magenta craft touched down gently in the desert. The hatch opened, and out stepped a disguised Zim in all his glory. His new human form was a marked improvement over his old, though he kept the same hair. Looking like a fairly normal human 13 year old standing beside a spaceship in the desert, he put his fists to his hips and looked out over the expanse of rocky desert as if he were lord of it all.

"GIR!" He called.

"Yeeeeeeees?" The robot's annoying voice sounded from the ship.

"Get out here, and bring me my worm-capture-stick…thingy." The SIR unit obeyed, falling out of the cockpit with Zim's high tech graboid detaining device; a three foot aluminum handle with a loop at one end that he 'liberated' from an animal control vehicle. "We have work to do, Gir! That worm obviously holds the key to conquering the human race, and once it's in my hands, this filthy planet will fall before ZIIIIIM!" With that, he marched into the desert with Gir close behind in his new dog suit which made him look like a large pomeranian.

The sierra desert loomed out all around the Irken and his SIR as they sought their prize. The sun shone brightly down on the two, much to the dismay of Zim.

"Gah!" He complained. "I hate this filthy earthen sun! My flesh is baking in this miserable heat!"

"Master?" Gir said.

"Don't interrupt, Gir!" Zim scolded. "When I rule this planet, I shall make the sun…not so…bright anymore."

"Yeah, but…" Gir said.

"Gir, your job is not to argue. It is to alert me when my worm is near."

"I understaaaaannnnd." Gir said. "Master?"

"Yes, Gir?" Zim asked.

"It's near."

"What's near?" Zim queried.

"Your worm thing." Gir replied.

"My…wha?!" Zim exclaimed. "Gir, why didn't you tell me? Where is it?"

"Over there!" Gir said happily, pointing. Zim looked at a large hump of dirt moving toward them.

"Yes!" Zim exclaimed triumphantly. "Come to Zim!" He stood rigid, holding out the pole. The hump stopped, and a long, snake-like tentacle with a tooth-filled mouth slithered from the ground. Zim threw the loop over the creature's head and tightened the leather strap. "Got it!" Zim called. "I, ZIM have mastered the graboid! Now we…" His victory was short lived as the REST of the graboid erupted from the ground, wrenching the handle from Zim's hands. A full fifteen feet of the beast shot up from the desert sand. Its massive jaws opened wide, and it trumpeted with a roar that made Zim fall over in fear. He was soon on his feet, and running for his life with Gir close behind, as the giant worm plunged into the ground and began chasing them.

"Get away from me you filthy earth monster!" Zim screamed as he ran. The graboid grew closer and closer. Suddenly, a large black SUV appeared, driving through the dessert. "HEY!" Zim screamed, running for the passenger side as it approached. He grabbed Gir and leapt upon the running board. The vehicle began to slow, and Zim threw open the door and jumped in.

"Hey!" The youngish man driving the SUV yelled. "What the hell are you doing?!"

"Drive this vehicle, human! The graboid beast is coming!" Zim screamed.

"Graboid?!" The man cried fearfully. He floored the accelerator just in time. The truck sped off, leaving El Blanco safely behind.

"What were you doing out there, kid?!" The man asked. "Don't you know that stupid worm eats people?"

"I was trying to _catch_ that stupid worm." Zim replied. The man looked at him incredulously.

"Catch…a graboid? You have a death wish or something? I've been trying to catch, kill or get rid of that stupid worm for a year, and I couldn't. What makes you think some kid can do it?"

"Because I had a brilliant plan." Zim replied as if his ego were hurt. The man scoffed.

"And I have a ton of money and it didn't help. Why did you want that thing anyway?"

"Why do YOU want it?" Zim asked.

"With that worm out of the picture, those stuck up hillbillies in Perfection would have to sell their land to me so I can build my dream. Get this: An entire community full of condos and rental properties with its own minimall and golf course…Melville."

"Melville?" Zim asked.

"Yeah. My name's Mel…Melville…little play on words. Look, is there like somewhere I can drop you off, kid? Like maybe your mom's or with a cop or something?" Zim thought for a moment. This human seemed to have the same motive he did. This Mel was almost as ambitious as Zim. Maybe it was time to make an allegiance. Zim could always use the human and dispose of him later.

"Say Mel," Zim said. "How would you like to be rid of that pesky graboid once and for all?"

"Yeah, and how's that?" Mel asked with a sarcastic tone. Zim pulled a small cube from the pocket of his jeans. As he held it in his hands, a 3-D holographic map of Nevada appeared, then zoomed in on their location, marked by a red dot. Mel was mesmerized by the sight.

"And I have much more technology than this." Zim said. "With your money, and my awesome brain, we are sure to catch that stinking beast. Then you can have as much land as you want, and I get the graboid. How do you like the sound of that…Mel?"

"I like the way you think, kid." Mel said. He stuck his right hand out. "Melvin Plug." Zim shook his hand.

"Zim." Zim said. "And I think this is the beginning of a victorious partnership."

_Because of a lack of readers and reviewers left on , this may or may not be my last fic. As much as it pains me to admit, fanfictions are a dying art, and many devotees to fanfics have left, due probably in part to the necessity to survive in the crumbling socio-economic conditions of America. It is a time of darkness, readers, and things are looking quite grim. We must persevere, and live to warm our children in the sunrise of a new tomorrow. If it all falls apart, I hope that at least a few of you, the intellectuals and idealists, survive to build a better world. _

_So enjoy the remainder of the fic. I'll try to post at least one chapter a week until it is finished, and maybe…MAYBE finish my others before I leave. Until next chapter, cheerio and farewell._


	4. Chapter 4: Metaphysics with Nancy

Chapter 4: Metaphysics with Nancy

_Once again, I've managed to let time slip away from me without writing. Homesteading is hard work, with taking care of chickens, cutting firewood, making native American crafts to sell, building, repairing, it can all be rather time consuming, but I'd recommend it to anyone. Right now, I complain about having 30 dollars worth of bills every month, and having 6 cans of beans instead of 12 in my food stockpile. It's a simpler, happier way of life, and you have time and quiet to really think about the important things in life, or if you're us, tinker on 50 year old Soviet army rifles and curse at hens for pecking at your hand. Anywho, on to my next chapter. Yet another drabble-astic chatterpiece brimming with dialogue, but I hope you enjoy._

"Would you like some more tea?" Nancy asked Dib. The boy looked up from his notes.

"Yeah, thanks Miss Sterngood." He replied. The woman poured more Chamomile tea into Dib's cup.

"Oh please, call me Nancy." She said. Dib liked Nancy Sterngood. She was a friendly woman in her late fifties, and extruded being a flower child from the hippie movement.

"Okay, Nancy." Dib replied. He took a sip of the tea. Nancy, wearing a long paisley-print skirt and long sleeved tie dye shirt, sat on the armchair across from Dib. "You were here when the graboids first appeared?"

"Yes." She answered. "It was about thirteen years ago. Perfection had a few more residents back then. We didn't know what had been killing people at first, but then Val and Earl, the two local handymen…"

"Sorry," Dib interjected. "Is that Earl _Basset_?"

"Yeah. He and Val pretty much saved us. Burt killed one that broke into his basement."

"How did they kill the monsters?" Dib asked.

"Oh, I don't know how they killed the first one." Nancy replied. "Burt shot the one that broke into his house to pieces with his guns. When we tried to get to the mountains with a bulldozer, we got stranded on a rock. Val and Earl blew one up with a bomb Burt made, then Val ran the last one off of a cliff near here." Dib wrote all of this down.

"Where do you think they came from?" Dib asked.

"I don't know." Nancy said. "I suppose the scientific explanation may be right, but I don't think it matters really. They came from the same place the rest of us did. They're part of the universe, and have just as much right to be here as we do."

"Yeah?" Dib asked. He'd never heard it put that way before.

"Yeah." She said. "I guess that's why I find it so easy to coexist with the one that lives in Perfection Valley now."

"Cool." Dib remarked. "I mean, most people would be freaked out by a giant carnivorous worm living in their town, but the people here treat this town like some sort of miniature Sedona.

"I've been to Sedona." Nancy said. "Very spiritual place, you know. They say there's an energy vortex there that you can really feel." Dib smiled.

"I never thought there would be someone so…so…"

"You never thought you'd meet somebody so new age and esoteric in a run-down silver camp in the desert." Nancy laughed. "Well, that's why I'm here. It's easier to live the way I want out here."

"Hmm…" Dib replied. "Maybe I'll have to move to a small town in the middle of nowhere when I get older. Or maybe dad will let me move to a place like this anyway. Not that he really cares." Nancy gave a concerned look.

"As long as you don't end up like Melvin." She said. "His parents dumped him here growing up, and now he wants to turn the valley into a subdivision."

"Wow…" Dib commented. He looked at his notes as he took another sip of tea.

"You see," He began, "I think that the graboids may be extraterrestrial creatures. You think that's possible?"

"I do believe that there has to be life out there somewhere." Nancy replied. "The universe is just too big and diverse to have just one planet with life on it. Life is the biggest blessing in all of existence, and we're not the only ones that should get to enjoy it. I'm not a scientist or anything, so I can't really begin to warrant a guess whether or not they're aliens."

"Okay." Dib said.

"Just watch that kind of talk around Burt." Nancy said with a smile, leaning in as if the walls could hear. "You ask him if he thinks graboids are aliens, and he'll probably rant for half an hour about irrational conspiracy theories making people look like nuts, then go off on a tangent about the government spying on people through cell phones."

"Kind of reminds me of a guy I know named Bill." Dib snickered. "He thought Dinosaurs were a government lie, but thought psychic lawn gnomes were a threat to our free will."

"Oh that's bad." Nancy laughed.

"Not as bad as him thinking that cereal mascots are real, and they're out to brainwash children." Dib added.

"Burt thinks electricity was a conspiracy to get rural farmers dependant on big utilities so they could be controlled." Nancy said, laughing lightly. "And that they use bar code readers to keep track of everything you buy."

"Oh, speaking of Mr. Gummer, when do you think I'll be able to talk with him?" Dib asked. As if on cue, there was the sound of a vehicle pulling up across the road at Chang's Market. Nancy peered out the window.

"Good timing. That's him now." Nancy said.

"I'm gonna go ask him a few questions." Dib said. "I'd like to stop back by and talk when I'm finished with my investigation."

"Sure." Nancy replied. "That'd be great. Um…good luck with Burt."

"As long as he doesn't try to stake a guy in a vampire suit, I should be fine." Dib said with a smile. "See you later." He grabbed his notebook and headed out the door.

_Well, that's why I'm the undisputed king of dialogue! Anywho, I'll try to get a new chapter up soon, because I know how you all can't wait for Dib to meet Burt...and to see what insidious plan Zim and Melvin concoct. So stay tuned, and I'll do my best to chisel out a few more words on this high-tech piece of sandstone._


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